just got my ps3. and its pretty much the same. im happy abt it. yet not really excited. its kinda ironic. cause.. when i first got my psone, i was darn into it. then come ps2, woah. it was all but enjoyment. but for ps3 its just a lil flat. for all of these that made it happened, that ive realised now, isint actually the next gen consoles.. but that somebody, anybody, around, whether if the persons just looking at u or playing with u, it just feels good.. now thts diff.. william actually came back three days ago, the timming was good because i just got my ps3, although its just one pathetic game cause i didnt have enuff money to buy a few more, it was still great. pure enjoyment, and the funny part is, its a single player game. we just took turns, cursing at each other when the car crashed like a million times. sigh. now he's gone, again? haha. but im not really sad either, i mean, im just trying to make a point here. and it also struck me that hui once said that why do i need a console, i could have a better use of that money, maybe im just so bored and had nothing better else to do but to go right home everyday and lock myself up in the room, pressing the controller like some freak for hours... well, shes right~ most of it. i love consoles, but the reason i buy it is simple, i dont have any more activities to keep myself busy. i just have to find one , myself, alone, and try to always be optimistic by keeping myself with things to do. thats my kinda life, still. ps3 can be fun, but it cant talk to me, make me feel better when im sad or laugh at my jokes.. im just upset.. of the limitations of connections i have. in the end, it always hit me right back, like a cycle, the feeling of loneliness..

laughters, screams and cheers filled the air
so glad to be one of them
soon it fades
everyone spread to their close ones
each hooked on to one another
i was left behind
im not alone, how can i be?
we just laughed and cheered
but why?
deep down i hear the cries of pain..

FINALLY i have time to update. it really.. REALLY has been a tiring week for me. frankly speaking i have never ever done so much work in my life before. i stayed up to 2am to do my projects almost everyday. unbelievable man. wow.however, i still tried to have some time set aside for leisure. Met up with monkey and blacky last friday. it was a simple outing. we just had dinner at one of the res at ms. haha. juleen, as usual, made us laugh like hell. what will we do without u hur? sometimes ure even funnier than clowns. geeeee. im mean. WA HA HA. ok. i need to go have my dinner already. shall be back with more ''intresting'' stories of my life. stay tune~

alright, surprising hur? i mean, i just wrote in a entry yesterday n here i am writing another one. usually takes more than 2 days to see another one. okay. lets start of with the class at boat quek. haha. its really embarassing actually, i made the whole class wait 30mins for me. why wait for me? cause im something like a repesentitive for the class n IM LATE. so much for responsibility, geee. i dont even want to be in this position, im simply unlucky. damn, they actually prank call me when im on the way there, someone trying to sound like one angry teacher over the phone, get the idea? yea, i fell for it. good job. lol. and then we walk to boat quek as a grp, met up with mdm tia, the person incharge, great and cheerful lecturer infact, got some tips and started drawing? haha. i seriously hate drawing landscapes la. wah piang. I HATE DRAWING LINES. nvm. after tht, some of us went off and had lunch together. and i ended up in monkeys house, really missed her house alot, haha, if u're reading this, stop giggling. ok, u wont. but at least, u know. she tought me some skills of exploiting the function of photoshop and we had a few of stupid games. i cant stay there for long cause i have a movie to catch with kel and all, SPIDERMAN 3.

ok. maybe i had expected too much, u know? trailers always do tht. ok, cause im a huge fan of spidey, this 3rd installation was really a twist, a bad one. the story has too many characters in it, everything seems to be so jumpy, like the pace of the movie speeds up alil here and there. the logistical sense isint there. well, simply the plot and the script has a huge imperfection, and it could be much better if they'd just follow the origin of the comic books. well, i have no say in this cause im just one of the million audience. the good part is, haha, the visual effects pretty much satisfied what i was looking foward to. the fake jumps to the air, the unpropotional gravity swinging and overly strained glossiness is now erased. good job to the visual team. hhaa. the action , like many of the fight scences were extreamly incredible. but the design of the villians and spiderman still a problem. guess they're just too lazy to redesign the black costume so they decided to just pour it over with black ink. overall rating, 4 out of 5. might be a 3&1/2 if im not into spiderman. i hope for a better script on the 4th one '' if there is'' thts all for today. GTG SLEEP. till next time.

alright. finally another entry from me, it was a extremly busy week for me, yea, first week at sch too. everything seems to be ... fine... alil bit toooo fine. i hope i wont end up calling it bored. after a few days at sch, i found out how tiring this could be. seriously, u have task, research and major projects to stress on, every single day. from '' oh so bored. have nth else to do'' holidays to ''holyshit,all im enjoying pretty much now is sleeping'' sch life. okay. but at least im studying something tht i'd be intrested in..soon.. not now. geee. lectures now have NTH to do with moving image. maybe in some ways but sigh, its gonna be tough for the first yr. i hope i can get thru it somehow. currently , im working on a project called ''design icons/iconic designs'' , ive choosen spiderman and starbucks. haha. wierd hur? but anyhow, we need to do this collage of the icons we've choosen n geee, its darn difficult. putting pictures of different kind into one, messy but artilistic. shit. nvm, im gonna gather all the skills i can find n do the best i can. monkey's gonna teach me some basics of photoshop, so ill have to thank her for this. hopefully, ill get a pass, nooo, get myself at least a satisfying grade.

monkey's blog has this movie rating system gg on. haha. therefore,... u know, following the footsteps of the oh mighty short one. ok,seriously, i have this movie i wanna share and talk abt. its not a new movie cause i'd watched it from a dvd. its actually called '' blood diamond '' i know i know, it must be a stupid action kinda movie, im sure many of u guys seen the poster, so the impression is there, LAME, but in fact, in the opposite way , since ive seen it, ITS ... great. absolutely, WITHOUT any exception , one of the best movie ive seen. its not just a dumb frictional movie, its actually still happening out there,FACT. ppl suffering because of some stupid diamond. dont get it wrong, its nt a documentary like an incovenient truth. ill say , maybe girls will watch it because of leonardo dicprio and guys'd rather see some alien freak show, but this is one of the many important movies we must watch, haha. im like so into it.. but after u watch it, ull know how safe and lucky we are. ok,not gonna go on,just gonna say tht its ''spectacular, exciting and stunningly well made'' -david denby, THE NEW YORKER... so its worth watching. ill give it, 4 & 1/2 stars. =D GEEEE. monkey , seeee, im better at reviewing movies, u shld hire me for ur blog's future in the movie segment. lol.

OK. I SHLD BE SLEEPING. still have to go boat quey tmr ..... to draw? shit. ill see ya again, dear blog.

thanks to hui, heres the new entry. hahahaha. what will this blog become without monkey~
soooooooo. what shld i start with? okok. last thursday.. i think? me, weewee, donkey n blacky went to ecp. we got ourselves something to eat, played at the arcade too, before hitting on the road on bikes. oh ya, tht burgerking area was super quiet, geee. not a single soul there. lol. so we cycled to bedok jetty as usual, stopped there to take some air. haha. this is where the fun part was. wahhaha. we played random games, one of it was so stupid we couldnt help it but laugh non stop. just imagine me trying to act like pikachu. haha. geee. alright. then we continued. nth much happened n we eventually have to turn back at some point so we could return the bikes on time. haha, all i know is jul and jess were always behind me and monkey , waaayyyyyy back, all the time. LOL. oh ya.poor donkey got a cut near her ankle. fortunately ,its nt tht serious. i pretty much enjoyed the day with the animals at ecp. eh? oh,im nt done yet, but its nt tht impt too, they came to my hs after cycling, watched this RIDICULARS movie , it really sux, so half way thru we changed it to another zombie flick. haha. alright. thts all.

next week, my sch finally starts. really excited abt it yet! friends... i need some close ones soon, if nt hw am i gonna survive for the next 3years. haha. n ya, watching spiderman3 , woooooooow, with kelly yong ping ming, use to be a very close friend of mine during the sec sch days. glad we could meet up again. how can we nt watch the 3rd one tgt ? come to think abt it, we actually saw the first two tgt, i think. so this must be like a trilogy. hahaha. n we might just get ps3 tgt. whahahah, all the 3's. okok. YES. i have to go, lotsa dvds to finish. till next time. =D

ARGH.muahhaha. wee wee u ass. ok. lets talk abt the big big event i had with monkey and blacky, well, actually its just a simple but great outing. haha. it was really fun and stupid. lol. we just kept eating non stop. lol. danger!!! HUIHUI!!!! waahahha. er. i just love chatting with them, so lame. now i just gonna repeat what hui's blog already has. FIRST. we met at bugis. then we ate at v8. nice food there ~~~~~ hahhahha. and then juleen came. so we just chat for awhile there and then left n went to b.street. so damn ... crowded. whaahah. in the end hui bought a ''princess'' necklace , LOL. haha, and next to the icon. whahaha. so funny la. one floor less then one minute finish liao. so lame. AND THEN we stop at the strudel cake shop. haha. hui got the strawberry and me the apple one. juleen, just dont wanna eat anything ! wah. power. haha. they we keep making fun of the mona lisa pic behind. =x next stop : MY HOUSE. hahaha. wanted to watch a movie one. BUT juleen. haha. u owe me one. always like tht de. come my hs chat chat go home. but nvm, might be meeting them this thursday again. ahah. anyway, because of this entry, IM ACTUALLY 30 MINS LATE FOR WORK. how touching right weee weeeeeeeeee. till next time. BYEEEEEEE. ZOOOOooooOOOoOOM~

haha. im back. the camp is soooooooooo stupid .. but. fun. super tiring too. they really treat us like we're all superman. haha. 5hrs of sleep leh? piang. okok. im have lotsa to do. so ill jus go right to the point.

DAY ONE
erm. memorised most of the cheers. got to know tht design sch's the coolest. erm. at least the most hyper ones. some friendly ppl, some not so. er... FOOD'S BLOODY CHEAP n it doesnt lose out to the ones outside.

DAY TWO
best of all. they changed the whole sch into a murder scene. its like a game where we have to write the story with all the clues arnd. example, fake dead bodies, fake ghost , notes and many more stupid clues all over the sch. its kinda cool though. got closer to some of them, but rather stick with the girls , er.. dont anyhow think ar, but u know, ive been like this since sec 5, guys there are so, not my kinda friend, like gx or ppl lame enuff to hang out with. but , sigh, tht doesnt mean tht they treat me as a closer friend. ARGH. so sad. anyhow, i manage to get thru the 2nd day. tough.

DAY THREE
we were the best at cheers already. i mean it. among all of the schs. WE ROCK ! YOU PEBBLE! LOL... one of our cheers. aint tht cute. still got lotsa more la. hahahahah. so inevitably.. we won the trophy of the most active sch without fail, straight down for 7 years already. we kept the legendary hyper thing gg on. so proud of ourselves. is like even when they play the music, we were the only sch dancing. okok. i think.. thts abt it.

SUMMARY OF THE WHOLE CAMP
in my group '' THE PACIFER'' lol~
girls are friendly , group leaders are funny n cool.
boys...no comment. not sure. lol. but still upset cause
NO REAL FRIEND YET. FULLL STOP.

n wee wee did something tht made me really proud. she waited 3hrs20mins for.... NOTHING. thts cool,girl~ chill =D

THE END.
comming up on the next ''exciting issue''
'' THE BLACK AND SHINY BIG THING : PS3 '' yaya, u're right weex2, i cant HELP IT.

ok. sorry for the long delay ppl. was , is, very busy. but i wont just abandon my blog because of tht. so.. here i am. fk. thts nerd enough. ill start with er... sr's bday. but before tht i actually went to a pub or clubbing place called double o for the first time, had a couple of shots , thanks to sr ofcourse =..='' i got alil bit shaky but! still kinda conscious. haha. strong eh? but i keep asking them the same Q over n over again so actually i was not really awake afterall. so the next day which was sr's actual bday. we got together at ecp around the evening. haha. to be honest, the whole damn thing is like .. er. a incompleted puzzle , pieces all over the place. but it got better as we play the games. overall, not really tht bad. but i was expecting more from erm ,anyone. well, im just glad we met up again. just tht will do. so.. for today. bad start. bad day. hot sun. HORRIBLE and STUPID cheers. yesh. tp's orientation. IT SUXXXXXXX. i better go. tmr still gt tht stupid camp. boo hooooooo hooooooooooo. someone, anybody, HELP.

oh my god.... whats wrong with tp... no wonder they say '' what u'll get out of tp the most is ''fun'' ''. just came back from work, then mum passes me a tp envelope.. again? havent i sent all the freaking enrolment shit, so opened it. ''freshmen orientation'' oh, that. ha. mum then told me its nt from the mailbox? then!? they actually deliver it personally at ur doorstep. holyshit. whats tht all abt? so i continued reading it.. n oh my, WHAT IS A 4DAY, 2 NIGHT CAMP? isint it suppose to be just an ordinary orientation? flipping through, it just got worse, ''sentosa'' , ''list of things to prepare'', ''fun in the water''..... ARGH !!! its killing me. ok, it may sound fun to some of ya, but its nt to me. remember? i F@#*&@$^ hate sentosa. its hot, and fun in the water? whats tht? must be tht bitchy beach. i hate it. last time i went there... ohhh god, its just terrible... so much for the things ive plan for next week. WHO EVER CAME UP WITH THE IDEA... it better be fun or at least... not! stupid! . shit. im lucky i havent got myself a ps3 yet. imagine me having tht monster machine in my room for 3 days without touching it. no ~~~~~~~~~~~ way! phuuuu...... cool down. u might.. just meet some cool ppl, or haha. okok, shall nt go into detail. cant believe im already gg to be in a polytechnic already. n 'my can say so closest but not so much already' human/animal friend monkey,LOL, no hard feelings, had broken the spell and made it thru with his bf for a year. way to go. keep the engine rumbling. see, all the good things happening , orientation nt included* , is this the end of the devil's work? STAY TUNE ON ''JIEWEN'S SCREWED UP LIFE''

geee. ive been so busy nowadays that ive already forgotten i had a blog. well, its gonna be lyk this for another month i guess. wait till i get my hands on tht shiny black oh... PS3... holyshit. i cant wait to have one in my room with ma tv. and ofcourse a new begining at tp. well, i got this really bad feeling though, what i care the most is the ppl in my class. pls pls pls, god, make this 3 years intresting for me. ps3's gonna help me with some but gee u cant expect me to stay in the room for long. if nt ill go retard. n yesh, ive planned what i shld do in this 3 important years. why important. 1. its before i go to hell(ns) 2. it somehow decides what im gonna do next time. 3. MAYBE a relationship... well, i didnt really put much hope in tht. ARGH! ok. fine. a relationship is what ive always been looking forward to. haha. desperate. no. lonely. yes. maybe both. fuck it. oops. less 'f's jwn. dont scare the girls off. whaahahha. doesnt make any diff. n ya, i hope monkey's feeling better already, i kinda know how she feels now. CHEER UP. dont give up, u're blessed, i dont know.. god's always at ur side. haha. always has been. so dont worry.ok. thts all for the day.
-wishes will come true. just wait for the genie.

sigh. first all the good things. now the bad. if theres really a god, he sure is punishing me now. it has only been a few days since i sign on a thousand plus hdtv. ofcourse i wont just buy it for fun because i already got one at home. ps3 needs a hdmi output which only hdtvs were capable of. so thats the reason. although i did save a partial part of my money for backup. ive just realised that i shld at least wait until my sch starts. now tht my mum has some bad news after the meeting at her workplace, i really feel bad abt spending the money. i really dont know. its nt like i regretted buying that tv cause its what i really want in my own room, just tht whats happening now made me know tht i shld always wait until im really ready to get what i want. so what i can do now, is to delay the date of getting the ps3. i know.. i shld kill the idea of getting it already, but tht freaking tv tht cost so much will then be useless. guess ill have to work at the same time when im studying to save up more money. phuuuuuuuuu. alright. hope my mum will find a solution to her problem soon.

I WILL BE AN ANIMATOR. wahahaha. moving image at tp. what ive always dream of since young,is to make my own picture move =..='' LOL! tsk tsk tsk. yet , im still worried abt my future with my ability ill soon gain. nvm . ill work hard. n create my own ANIMATION..... okok. i think too much liao.

All thanks to monkey actually. what shld i say? shes the one who told me abt the jae result, the one who check for me on net, the one who saw it first and the one to congratulate me first. hha. thanks bud. well well, i really hope this is what ive always wanted. wow. animation.. really cool thing to learn. haha. okok. think thats abt it. just want to thanks this wei da de wee wee once again. happy ? lol. till nxt time then.

ive just finished watching the dvd i borrowed home yesterday. its a chinese movie called happy birthday. it is really touching. my initial thought of the movie was.. boring. but , yea , iwas wrong, it's a great movie. in some way, it affected me alil. in a wierd way i guess. i dont know how to explain but its like the movie actually made me wanna think of some past relationship which ended up tragically.. but .. I DONT HAVE ANY. except, some one sided love kinda thinggy. well, use to have this habit of looking at some of my junk i kept only to myself in my personal drawer, its been so long since ive opened it, so i just wanna check if insects have move in to it. haha. we sure changed alot by looking at the old photos. sad thing is... those junks related to some ppl or some part of my memory ... just reminds me the useless, stupid jwn i use to be n... how hurt i was. yet i still treasure'em along with some sadness and alil of happiness i use to have. god, this is so fucking gay. sigh. i better nt take a look back anymore, it kills me. have to get some brainwash. im out.

wooaa ow. cny ended so fast, i mean day 1-2. ha, cause .. to me cny's actually this short. although it holds up to 15days. i guess, everyone feels the same too. i really miss the days of how i spend my cny. without fail, ill always visit he pan, ''near that durian''. yea.. but things change, u know. he pan.. to me is no longer as important already. or maybe its nt as fun either. especially when theres nothing to ride on or be with one to enjoy. one by one, all gone. friends n exciting rides for example. well, its ok.

day 1
nothing particular to mention actually. wahhahah. just the normal procedures everyone.. , i mean the chinese, would do. so we'll just skip this. lol

day 2
ok, we visted my mum's eldest sister '' last stop ''. n everyone was there. no, its something bad. damn awkward. geee. everyone had their little group. u know? the aunties, then the uncles , then the big sisters.lets forget abt the big brothers, geee. they look like some kinda robot or something, just sit there and day dream. therefore this leads to the conclusion.. of me joining them, pathetic, BUT at least i fidget a little here and there. they dont even move, not a single muscle!argh, maybe they study too much. infact, i think my task every year on cny , simple, just to collect hong bo's. haha. i dont mind anyway. so after that me n mum went orchard to catch protege. super duper awkward too. its like im the only guy with mother there. lol. but who gives a damn.anyway it ended up well since my mum was so much less naggy and the movie, i'll give it 3 stars. oh yea. i missed out one important part. guess who i saw today? one guy , one girl. guy, victor, girl, joyce. wow. haha. they're the one who spotted me first. one reason i like abt cny, everyone seems to be so nice. god. ok, thats abit it.

n.. tmr ill be back to that same old place again. boring~ right,n i really really wanna watch the epic movie, gee. i think its gonna be hilarious.... and stupid. i love stupid movies. haha. but theres no way im watching it alone. so who shall be my victim.muahahahah . lame.argh but i guess i wont find anyone to watch it with me. since, i have insufficient friends.FACT. NVM. i can always buy the dvd. =..='' ok. 5 mins more to bed. have to clean my mouth. so..next time.

i got my results already. its ... far from what i expected it to be. well, i must say that there may be a guardian angel , a lazy one, who finally did her job. thank you. but.. i dont know why, something else i really want, still... sigh, maybe its because that particular day is arriving that made me feel this way. boy, that day... is gg to be a tough one.. what really made me upset or rather disappointed was actually because... it was suppose to be a turn around for me but it ended up to be nothing... at all. i dont blame u but myself, for thinking too much.

you shld have just said no..... and walk away.
leaving me behind like u were never there.
no..
i shldnt have even ask.
im dumb , im crap.
miracle's just a word
for losers like me.

my dearest blog.. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY LIFE. its a brand new year, but nth seems to be moving to the right track. oh c'mon. havent u torture me enuffff, oh mighty gooddd? its gonna be like this again for the year. n I'LL DIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im just kidding... I'LL SUFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! most likely to the state of craziness. arghhhhhhhhh. help me , somebody ~~~~~ im just overly exaggerating here. i dont even know if that sounds right. fuck. who cares. no fucking soul is gonna mark this piece of shit anyway. OKAY. life goes on.

its still the same, work work work . it kills..alil. the good thing is, i get to see movies for free... .....
... FUCK, didnt i noted that on my previous entries. skip that. ok... yesh~ my results are comming. and my sixth sense tells me that IM GG TO FUCKING PASSSSSSS. it better. and then ill go to any polytechnic and start a BRAND NEW LIFE THERE. wow. im seeing it already. IN MY SQUISHY SLIMY BRAIN , ofcourse. its still an image i want to be in. fuck fuck fuck fuck. geee. oh gosh , just look at how many FUCKs i have used on this entry, today must be a FUCKED UP DAY. no its nt that bad actually. ARGH. mad man typing. me. and he's gonna sleep soon. THIS IS SO FUCKING LAME. WORST BLOG ON THE NET. GO AWAY. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

my dearest blog. ive just found out that your are the only thing i can come to when ever i... feel like im the only soul living on this pathetic planet. im losing to it. i have admit that im trying , always trying, very hard to look on the bright side but its just not working anymore. all the fake laughs and smile, im tired of pretending. isit that im always like this when im at home, i think too much? i dont think so. people working with always have ppl arnd, either when its on their off or after work. they got so many friends, and one thats younger then me have a life that ive wanted it in mine. a human mind complicates things, one moment im writing an entry that im actually over it , the next thing i know it, im into that f'ked up situation again. always like this for me. i feel like a loser whenever ppl at work talk abt their past relationships, present ones, whatever, haha, n what? i have had only one rl, and maybe that doesnt even fucking count. geee. i know, everyone's equal in same way. but maybe god left me out. fuck. i feel terrible. mums right. why am i watching dvds everyday, have i got nth else i to do. like go out? have fun? stop staying at home looking at every electronic screens there is in the house? i wish i could. i wish ... too much. maybe thats why i dont get a single shit i wished for, at all. alright, at least 2/4 of what i kept in me has been released if not ill end up in mental hosp real soon.. thanks to u my only .. whatever, blog.

fk new year's eve. welcome.. whatevers comming. alright, i sure feel alot better now. haha. alright. that previous entry i typed was seriously crappy. i hate being sad i hate being that 'oh, poor guy'. fk that. so what if ny's eve was shit. maybe.. just maybe..sigh, something good's gonna happen to me since ive got hit by all kinds of shit already. hai, i just want to be alil bit happier. its always bad thinking of the worse when you're already an unhappy person. woah. i feel like a matured grown man now. wahahah. lame. at least im nt that pessimistic already.

at first, it was... terrible. this was the first time i felt so alone. i found out that.. keng was right, i have too little friends arnd me , how he know that? just by looking at the contacts i have in my phone.ha.. and right,i depend too much on'em. its nobody's fault. they have their love ones to celebrate with. and ill do the same. i was so desperate, so eager to find someone who will actually hang out with me on new year's eve. there's one.. but after last than an hour i know we shouldnt stick arnd any longer; she was so much more closer with her friend and they'll somehow leave when the movie starts, its better that i walk off until i feel left out.still i thank her for acc me for that lil while. then, i walk arnd alone. sat down somewhere nobody would walk by. after awhile, i tot that it isint that bad actually. things wouldnt have turn out better even if i were to meet up with the rest. cause i was the one who asked'em out who than ended up with nothing we can do; some have to go home early anyway.. i cant believe its now a new year. i really hope.. this will not continue like this, continue like im...so bad like this now. sigh. having off on new years day. not a very good thing after all, guys at mj.ha. ppl there dont even know i have a blog.. im not a poor guy saying to all that even enter to my blog that say's '' hey, im so pathetic and i need someone'' well, yea, i need some but not until u read this. , just trying to let off something here. if not ill burst.

yea, i have friends. but..

gee. how can i be using the com when im 15mins to work. damn. anyway. todays xmas. wow. and im still working. poor poor jiewen. at least ill get to celebrate new year's eve. phew. god's not that bad to me. ha. whoosh~ and one year's gone. brand new one ahead. pls pls pls. a better one next year. i beg of u god. haha. i feel like getting a dvd player for myself. since its xmas. and nobody has one for me. still considering. okok. better log off now. or else my supervisor will nag the hell out of me.