its still raining. i stoned at home the whole damn day. i felt this loneliness but i have friends. why? it just dont make any sense. im gg crazy.. i keep lots to myself. too much of it.

woke up at 1.30pm. and its 7.34 now. its gg so fast that i cant believe it. i dont feel life anymore. yes, i go work, laughs; im just faking it, nobody knows, i go out, just so that i feel that im still breathing and theres still ppl arnd me; i feel my presence but its gone the next day i wake up. am i still myself. am i? its fading away.

i cant wait to go to a new enviroment. meet new ppl. get out of the hell am in now. but i fear the same cycle again.when i see people connected to each other that close.. i cant help it but hate myself, why cant something like this happen to me. am i too impatient , desperate to gain what i dont have. or just to fill in whats empty. crap. im so screwed.

having read the entry above. i think im really crazy. what the f' am i even typing here.