now and then I will think about things that will drag me down like a swallowing quick sand. sometimes i dont even understand why I want to make myself sad. do people want to feel sad? well, at least i do and it sux. geee. but trust me, i use to be alot worse. no, i dont do stupid things that involves blood. 

I know its damn retarded to post really pessimistic sad horrible self insulting entries. what I am sad is if i were to disappear one day, will things be different for anyone? will people even care? Oh wells, i dont really care anymore and I got alot of work to do. so... i shall look forward to CNY.