happy new year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...............
what a year 2007 was!
nothing has happen...
nothing was memorable...
nothing great about it...

so this 2008!
i can feel it...
that...
nothing is gonna happen...

merry christmas to all.

phuuuuuu..... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
.................
..................................
..............................................

watched the golden compass with my old friends, wee and jess yesterday. the movie was actually quite good, except for the part when the polar bear came out of nowhere to rescue the main character who needs help, obviously. jess's flying off soon, so i guess.. we'll meet again only after she comes back. sad. but we'll definately see each other again. =)

so... what else, oh ya. got a new ps3 game, uncharted: drake's fortune. erm. completed it the next day. wth. its like i paid $90 to watch a movie. but its worth it, gameplays good, graphics cool, storys not bad. so ya. its xmas afterall, shld get something for myself. talking about it, i got another unexpected gift, well, not exactly also. let me explain. haha. my mum sign up for the mio plan, so that means i can get a new phone in exchange for the new plan. BUT my mum's really... u know, she wants me to get a $0-withline phone, holyshit, isint that like downgrading, from my n73 to a worthless piece of shit, no way, soo.. haha, i eventually got her into buying me a better yet uglier sony cybershot phone, i have my way, not really excited about it though, the phone's really.... erm, not my type and if worse, UGLY. really, but wow, the features and the 5mp cam, top notch man. i tried it. its rreally good. so i shouldnt ask for more. i mean, whats a good looking phone with lousy features. so for this xmas, i got a new phone and a new game which i got it from? ME. cause i paid for the phone too. =..='' guess it'ld be a one man xmas party again hur?

just when i thought holiday's gonna kill me, i found meaning to it. or should i say i got myself something to do. haha. i was so damn bloody bored today. VERY bored. i couldnt think of any fking thing to do, i have no one to go out with like always, real sad.. , i have watched all the movies ive got at home,ive just completed the new game that i recently bought?! oh god, so i was rotting really bad at home and thats when i made a really bold decision.

i finally step out of my house for the "first time".. as in with all the things i have and can do at home theres simply no reason for me to stay out, you know. so where did i GO? ofcourse not far far away, so i ended up at the libary next to my house. oh god, i couldnt believe it, i actually missed the place. the aircon, the.. serenity? wtf is wrong with me. this is where i studied for olevel's, and the place where.. even being alone, i feel.. okay. so i went up, look for some comics to read, what? u expect me to read those thick books with millions of words in it, no way. oh man, i looked at the comics section.. come on, its been like what? nearly a year since i last stepped in here and they didnt even bother to update alil bit.

the spiderman collection is still the bloody same. so i have no choice but to read one of the fantastic four ones. and then i realized, this cant be it, libary's so big and all i can get out of it is one stupid comic book. then it came to me, i still got alot of things or infact everything to study on maya, 3d software. but u know, the libary's always like that, when u want to borrow something, it's always not there for u. so i tried my luck, went to the computer's section and what do u know, it was all there, every single one of them. geee. singaporeans sure dont have any intrest in visual effects or 3d animation. BUT thats a good sign, the less the better and easier for me to get a job. i borrowed guide books on how i can create my own 3d model/character. haha. easy to say, difficult to do. so i took my comic and three thick guide books down to the cafe. guess what, i still couldnt belive how i spend $22 there.

HOW ON EARTH did i do that. easy =..='', had the money, gave it away, am i nuts? ya. i bought a $17 card from them so i can drink coffee for three instead of five, HA! isint that the best deal ever!!!!! sigh. such a loser. oh well, thts only 17! when i spent another $5 on the spaghetti. and that makes $22! wha la~ ARGH !!!! there goess my fking savings. but now i have a reason to go back to the libary. AND SO, i sat down, ate the terrible spaghetti, no kidd, its horrible, and read the books. AH HA. this comes to the conclusion of me getting life out of this sick holiday.

after literally reading one of the first few pages of the book, it got me. now im so interested and inspired by it. this is not easy to accomplish but its kinda do-able. good thing is its time consuming, thats all i all need. fear not, jw, your holiday is now... not-so-boring. if it fails, at least u can still spend time mastering your pathetic guitar skills or get a new game, complete it in one week then kill yourself because you still have another 3 weeks to go.

holiday... fk it. i wanna go back to sch.. i need something to do. something that can keep me away from.. what i dont want to become. a ghost. a very unhappy one. argh.. have to keep myself busy. must.
today's a really disappointing and... you can see that its rainning-day. was suppose to go out BUT, fk that, instead i did some good i bought the juice my mum wanted me to get. so that was at parkway, and hell, it changed alot. borders? since when. but wow, it sure looks alot better than mph. so i walked arnd and like what will always happen, ill find myself in topshop. noooooo. i shouldnt have lead myself there... so many nice things to buy..... arghh... now i cant help but know that i will have to save another stack of money, come back and give it to them for some stupid clothes. the forgotten topshop has once again invade my mind for money. just kill me. maybe you'll see me in the newspaper, headline "tall skinny man failed to rob DBS bank, biggest loser ever"

i had enough with you once. i let it go. but for the second time... im done with you. i should've known. treasure this pathetic friendship or pissoff.

thanks to donkey's encouraging erm.. words. i shall keep u webby, for now. haha. FINALLY its over. animation is over! yet, im already missing it. its damn bloody fun. its not really impressive but i tried my best for some of the assignments , especially for the last one, ofcourse. and todays we had to present our short clips of animation that have both 3d and 2d in it. althought i did said that i put efforts in this, i slept early? amazing. and i finished it just in time. as in really in time. suppose to hand it up on 3pm. and i finished it right on time.... AT HOME. so i cabbed to sch. i wasnt really rushing because... i know everyone would be late. know why? cause the rendering time almost killed us. so u cant blame us. blame the extremely slow computers. haha. and so the lecturer played everyone's work in the thetre. unfortunately the com was corrupted and many of our work went terribly wrong, erm, mine wasnt affected because i had a different file. so mine played smoothly. i was quite happy that most of them understood the story, thats all i care. oh well. cant wait to do more after the holiday. cant u believe that? i rather not have holidays. BUT i gotta admit, IM SKINNIER.holy f. serious. animating can be so time consuming and fraustrating sometimes that u skipped lunch and dinner not even knowing it. worst of all is u get stressed not only mentally but physically. oh well. thts what this meaningless holiday is about. erm, not really actually. ill get to see my old friends. =)

HOLIDAYS COMMING. XMAS'S COMMING. so? anyway, had quite alot of things to... not quite alot.. is moutains of things to do so that explains this very late entry which doesnt matter since its pretty close-down already. BUT.. i shldnt give up on you webby shld i? well, nvm that. at least i can come back once in a while to crap. so, erm, what changes are there. nothing much. doing animation fundamentals now, kinda intresting, which makes things more complicated, video or animation? argh. and my guitar's covered with a thin layer of dust already, still i improved a tiny little... bit compared to last time. ps3! got a new game, finally ~ was it the right game, hell yeah. at first its kinda stupid but then i got addicted to it. i was force to stop playing only when my controller went of out batt. hows that. hahaha. its that good. oh yea, its called assassin's creed anyway, argh, like anyone knows. erm erm erm.... just cant wait for holidays to come, earn some money, know alil bit more abt guitar, get a new ps3 game for xmas, erm erm, maybe will do some research on 3d animation... erm erm erm...go out ofcourse... erm erm...watch movies (at the theatre) erm erm, what else, eat more, get fat, erm erm... get new clothes (thats if i have money). wow. seems like i have alot to do but it always end up to be... really horrible. like last year, oh god, dont remind me of that christmas. better be good this year you fat, slimy, red, hairy white, hohoho-bastard... or at least, not alone. =..=''

im so tired... finally i can rest. im suppose to work today but i decided not to. so... yesterday the animals and i finally met up so we can celebrate weewee's bday. dont know why.but i just feel bad for her. haha. we made her wait forty mins, i still owe her four bucks and worst of all is we couldnt get what she want because we dont have enough shares. haha. besides that, to me, it was really fun. we laughed quited alot actually. so after weewee waited at the marinabay mrt station for aproximately forty minutes, we arrived, late. and ofcourse we were there for the steamboat. what else? haha. as usual, juleen didnt want to eat. food there was okay. just that i cant stand waiting for the food to get cooked. annoying. after that, we went bowling which was jul's idea, bad one. hahaha. just joking. oh ya. after the game, we're suppose to take the bus back to the mrt station when all of a sudden, this uncle who looks like a serial killer came to us and said there's no chance you can make it back for the last train but if i take you there, which he charged us $1 each, you might still catch it. what the hell, he expected us to believe him? but ya, we did. wahhhaha. desperate for the last train you know? we're all too broke for cabs. so we reached the station without getting killed or raped. thank god for tht. as soon as we got into the station, they announced that the last train will be arriving in one min or so. thats when we started running and screaming. well, actually only weewee screamed. WAHHAHA. so she and the rest of us run into the train before the door closes. we made it. relieved and all. but the wierd thing is the doors are still open. i looked at one of the electronic boards outside. it reads "departing in 7mins"......... whats with all the screaming and running again?

we got to cityhall and realized that there's already no bus and train anymore. and still we ended up taking a cab back to my house. jul went back but wee and jess stayed at my house until 4am. was real tired. so when they went back, i came back home, dived into my bed, closed my eyes, and wa la, here i am typing this.

sorry we couldnt get u the mem card but hopefully you'll like the drawing. happybirthday wee.

IM SO BUZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg. dont even have time to catch my breath already. alright. so ive changed class since two weeks ago. having video fundamentals now. doing the final project. we're told to do a short film. haha. n guess what? it's about this rapist and blind girl. n the stories kinda cool after we finally settled down with the whole script. so filming has already taken most of my time. and to make things even worse, i bought a guitar just recently. so im freaking buzy. really. like i dont even have the time to slack anymore. i have to squeeze all my time to film, learn how to play the guitar, play my ps3 and watch Heroes. argh. i dont have all the time in the world. better run. ill update next year. LOL!

this shld be a very long entry but ive faced the com for the whole damn day already so im gg to cut it short.

ALOHA CHANGI RESORT

alright, so thts not the only place i went for holiday but thts almost all i can recall now. cant help it, stm. oh ya, and meet ups with jingyuan and the animals. tht'll be later. lets talk abt the resort. i went to kelly yong's resort first before gg to sa's one. same place anyway, i tot, so might as well go to kelly's one, stay over and then head right to sa's one. i have to say tht, its rather awkward to finally reunite with yong, its been so long, he hasnt change much since the last time i saw him with his gang of friends. i'd say tht im the one who changed quite abit. so i tried to get away by talking to my classmates on phone while they're bbq-ing. but i tot, im just being unfriendly, so i hung up and tried interacting. it worked somehow. we tried entering the old changi hospital but we didnt have enuff light to shine us through further so..we went back.drank alil, had some laughs and i decided to sleep. them? still playing ofcourse. i was too tired. woke up , left kelly's chalet and off to sa's. Wow, the house's damn freaking big. i bet it can fit more than 200ppl. no joke. thts abt it. big and boring. haha. sigh, we planned games for days and it didnt work out. everyones just in their own group doing their own stuff. no controls at all. but i didnt wanna play the games neither. so nvm. it started to get a lil better when we started playing with the hundreds of water bags we made, smashing each other like crazy freaks. andddddddddd.after tht. i slept. haha.

ANIMALS

alright. yesterday we went out and... eat? yup. movies? wanted to but no cause xw doesnt want to. craps. but its ok. cause we tot of something else to do after awhile. we have to. its donkey's bday. hha. we went to her house. played with eye toy. played with dog. played with dolls. quite funny, dogs cute but dolls freaky. haha. i dont know why, we're always so unplanned, so -have nth to do- but we just have to meet up. im so use to it. haha. all i have to say is i still had a great time hanging arnd with all of u, meet up soon alright?

its holiday... and still i have to wake up early and go to school. thanks to 'sa'.
yet it was another story when i reached sch today. everyone thought it was suppose to a 'sa' meeting but turns out that we're having it with a 'mysterious' company, saying that they need ideas from us to shoot a high profile commercial sg-wide. well, some was pissed that they came sch for nth but not me. this a chance not to be missed. thts what i thought. the rest was even more shakened when they said that the two winners, whose ideas will be chosen, will have the tickets to 'the daughtry''s concert. sweet. well, there was only less than 15ppl and so i thought, not that hard to make the stand, i think. well, i was lucky, ideas just came flowing in my mind, so i drew a story board and explained to them visually as detaily as possible. well, didnt think my idea's really good or what, but i tried to make it simple for ppl to understand. it's a advertisment afterall. the funny thing is, they refused to tell us the brand name. whats the harm of telling us? they said not to DISTRACT us from our creative minds. HA HA. ok. get alil bit of that. well, so me and lil andrea got picked. fortunate. got our hands on the tickets, happy. " Age limit for male and female is 18!!!!!" drea shouted when she read the rules printed on the ticket. hilarious. tht only means that only i can go?! how retarded. haha. im not really into that free ticket actually, haha, i wanna get this chance, this opportunity to add this work in my portfolio. i know, its a big fat dream. cause they're still searching for alot of alternative ideas but... if..only. ha. i'll just stop there, shall not expect too much, at least i got a free ticket to a concert... which i wont go anyway if my friend who's 17 or 16, lol, can't make it through st.james door. so much for daughtry.
argh, just when i tot i can wake up late tmr, theres this grooming session for sa members. ha. kay, lets be optimistic, at least im living what life's suppose to be, filled.

Story Photography

"Dreams- Drifted Away"

PHOTOGRAPHY

had a hard time climbing

piggyback
com at beach
who's tht running back.haha.

feeding
little india
fruitstall
my house
night at bus stop
rain coat

taonan
primarysch
orange light
dawn

BACK IN TOUCH

The Animals

Weeweeee and Me
Blur for effect..haha..

3D ART

TP

Some of my classmates

Mummy Andrea
Someone stole my cap!

my internets finally stable. yes. haha.
fri, me and the animals met up. its been sooooo long since we'veseen each other. haha. whats good is we're not really that disconnected. haha. well. at least for me. im hoping to see them soon actually. thts if everyones free. so... ya.. we met up at fish'n'co that day. oh ya. it is also because they can celebrate me and donkey's bday. they got donkey a bag which she chose for herself and me a hugo perfume. n im seriously overwhelmed and surprised. although i can tell its not really obvious to them. like i said, always wanted a perfume but just cant afford one. aha. thanks ppl. so we just eat and talk like usual, everyones quite abt the same, but wee's just like in her own world. haha. crazy girl. too stressed by the mountains of assignments i guess? =x whahaha. just kidding, she's still damn irrititing when u talk to her, changed from '' ha ha '' to '' shut up la ''. real ass. after eating we decided to catch a movie, The Invasion. haha. while waiting for the movie we just hung around and slacked at some random corner near cathay. haha. oh ya, i accidently knocked juleen down while playing. SORRY. really am. ahaha. juleen's just great. she'll never get angry with u if she know its just for fun not like someone, especially when it comes to guys. f**k care. n so our meet up ended with a... erm, how many stars did wee wee gave for the movie? oh.. kay.
n so our meet up ended with a 3stars movie.. wait... ill give it a 3 and a half. hahahahha. =D
before i log out, thanks again animals... for the wonderful time and gift. meet up soon right?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! to meeee. haha. today morning i felt really sad. cause i really think tht nobody really cares. but the thing is my classmates, the close ones, at least repeatingly said happy birthdays to me. so , yea , felt alot better. and than they acc me to the games convention at suntec, its just a total bullshit over there. really boring. aside from the free kitkats they're giving out, nothings really interesting. haha. we stayed there for alittle while though, cause little andrea and wendys hooked onto tht stupid duck game on ps3. haha. after we went mac to eat. i wasnt expecting any thing from them actually, cause i kept telling them not to. but andrea and yuan still bought me the oreo cake tht i actually wanted to buy myself. it might be just a small thing but i really appreciated it. well, without them, ill be alone on my bday and giving excuses why nobody even bother. as i said, u just have to remember... or do alittle something, and ill know whos true or not. haha. fortunately i made it through this year with tons of laughters and lame jokes. thank you violent angie, small crazy andrea, mummy andrea, full of crap dion, helpful yuan and fake japanese wendy for the simple but yet the funniest bday ive had.

oh ya, doesnt mean you animals can get away with it. at least go out eat long john and sing a song or something. haha.. k. ill see u soon.

so.. things have changed alittle since last time.im closer to my friends. at least for now and i found out tht they're really helpful and fun to be with. haha. but again. more girls than guys. well, i dont really mind as long as i have friends. and haha, its always the short ones. really funny. maybe im just way too tall. nevermind.

now im working on this photography projects. and i have to tell u tht its not like what u think, no joke, really a painful process to get good pictures. especailly when ur lec's a pain in the ass. real strict. my concept is actually really hard to do, cause i have to display me in my dreams. and so u know, dreams are wierd. so the pictures shld be really unique. like waking up in the beach with a computer appearing out of nowhere near the shore, me and my friend standing on the bus stop shelter, running in the middle of the road or empty field, me in the rain gg crazy, me in a bunch of small kids and the last one is actually quite important. a potrait of my mum smiling. haha. alot of work. really. have to get the appreture, shutter speed and iso right. and freaking find the focus point. tough to be a photographer. BUT its fun.

anyway... MY BIRTHDAYS COMMING SOON. haha. no presents. ok. dont remember. not ok. so thts abt it. gotta sleep.

back to this dead and emo blog again. but this entry wont be oh so sad and crappy. soo it's gonna be boring. ha. =.=''

photography is really hard but also fun. we're now already in our final project. and fortunately enough, both my ideas are accepted by our unreasonable lecturer. phew... im doing on... ok... nevermind. i shall put post it on my blog when i finished with it. thats if its nice. haha..

i have some many things i wanna say... but im just so tired of saying it already. so... maybe next time.

it took so long for my aging com to recover that i've realized that nobody cares about it anymore, even me. today i went cycling at ecp with my classmates. it's actually the first time we really hang out tgt and i must say that its actually kinda fun. thing is i'm also kinda upset because i use to hang out with the animals at ecp but now we're just too busy to meet up. dont know why but today at ecp i just have so many things running through my mind. not only the friends i use to be close with but also some other thoughts thats just sad.

now i look at my life and the one i had before. i use to be really sad and pessimistic but im now abit more optimistic. just that..it's like im losing myself. im trying so hard to get myself busy so that i wont think of all the serenity and loneliness. my life is empty. crap.

haha. here i go again. maybe this is just a once in a while kinda feeling. going back and forth over and over again. geee. i think i shld just concentrate on my projects and stop emo-ing.

i gaze at the mesmerizing sunfall
the orange rays pouring through the bits of sparkling dust
its magical, its beautiful
as the sun cuts into the horizon
the dark shadows fill the land
if only that will stay for ever.

dead...for now.

haha. a day wasted at tp. both classes ended damn early. oh ya, theres this band playing in our sch today. its suppose to be damn nice and all but it turn out to be really noisy. the reason is because the equaliser or what ever u call the guy balancing the sound, did a really bad job, we can hardly hear the girl sing. as a result, competing with the guitar and drums, she tried singing louder but ended going off key. and its so damn bloody stupid of the ppl who set up the place.they're like playing to the wall while all of us look down from the building. but i still think tht its cool. haha. dion's suppose to be playing the base but he didnt because we had classes. well, everything ended early as i said, so he's like kinda dissapointed.

so after alfie,the lecturer, approved my idea, me and dion went ps to meet up with the drumer and guitarists.all of us was there except for one, the drummer, cause he... just broke with his gf? hahahaha, im damn evil but they told me that guy was watching movie with her gf before meeting us, the next thing you know is that she's no longer his girlfriend. sad.

so we discuss abt the songs we can play and the ones suitable for my voice. not really a serious discussion but we just talk alil abt what we can play,jamming. songs tht they chose at first were, stars-switchfoot, falls on me-fuel and set me free-velvet revolver. stars's like really boring to me actually but falls on me's ok. set me free... haha. screaming song. definately no i told the drummer. BUT just few minutes ago, i tried singing it with another voice and i can actually hit the high keys. its really a different interpretion though. but maybe ill just let them stick with set me free. whatever it is. i just cant wait to try out jamming with the band.

FINALLY... im back. alright. erm. actually this might sound stupid but nothing really happened since i last blogged. haha. erm.but im gonna be quite busy in the future. such as getting back to basketball and oh, im gonna learn how to play a guitar soon, not really tht soon , haha, during nov.right! and dion invited me in his band as the vocalist. though im not sure if things will turn out right but im sure it'll be fun. jamming time!

went out with tuna yesterday, for the first time in 4 years ? ahahhaha. we were suppose to watch diehard but the timeslots seemed to be either sold out or selling fast. so we went lido and it was the same over there. in the end we just settled at swensens for dinner. haha. we had a hard time finishing our fish n chip. but i just love the ambiance there. DARK and relaxing. hahahaha. after eating its still kinda early. tuna asked me if we shld still catch a movie or join her friends at zouk. in the end we just took another try at cathay. haha. fortunately we didnt waste our trip there. got ourselves a 1240 ticket for diehard 4.0. it started before we even got in. we were not late though, wierd. erm, movies okay, reminds me of transformer, alot of explosion and destruction on the streets.oh, n maggie q died horribly. haha. it was even better than i thought, hanging arnd with her i mean, we didnt stop talking or hang even a bit. haha. but shes alil upset abt her height after seeing me. dont worry la. u MIGHT still grow up. '' shan yi de huang yan'' =)

went zouk with weewee, jess, and jul. ALOT of ppl. my friend's right. gg there on wed night is crazy. we were squeezing ppl most of the time. so dancing is already out of the question. erm, actually we did dance alil. lol. at one corner. hahah. really wierd. actually, if we have the money to buy more drinks or maybe with less ppl arnd, this could have turn out to be alot more better. but i'd say like every other outing. i enjoyed myself. being out there rather than rotting at home is just great. haha. but clubbing... well, its just wierd tht im the only guy. kinda stress in some way. alright. jess called me this afternoon abt our next big meeting. haha. sounds really cool. but er, not easily done.

perphaps things just wont happen until u start thinkin abt it.

im super duper broke. i knew tht from the very moment i spend money like im some rich guy yesterday. hhaa. me and jing yuan spent the whole damn day at orchard. i mean it. haha. from 12.30pm to 1am. this is the first time ive almost hit $200 in just one day. aside from buying the ps3. we've done everything we can find at orchard. at least almost all of them. we sang at kbox, watched movie at cine, ate at swensens and shopped like crazy ppl. haha. there were alot of ppl shopping too, maybe its because yesterday was also the last day before the gst increases. haha, i told jingyuan tht maybe after this we'll have to eat cup noodles for a month. lol. haha, although i will never ever have the courage to check the amount i have in my bank until i get my pay, i kinda enjoyed the day with her. but this is like a once in a lifetime thing.LOL. its a very very VERY exhausting and expensive outing. i cant afford it.

theres something money cant buy, like a friend who's willing to spend a day with u.
for everything else, theres mastercard.

july's comming. yay..... erm. yay for what. oh ya. yay for having the slackiest module for this mth. not tht its nt impnt but compared to comdi and drawing essen last month, wow, its really alot better. now we hv time to do what we want to do. oh ya, its creative story telling anyway. all u have to do is to create a story of ur own. and our lecturer, alfie, is really a nice guy, i tot he was gg to be damn strict at first but he isint, in fact he's funny and entertaining. so hopefully this will be a better month..

ok, today i went out with jul, jess and monkey. finally all of us made it. but its like just some normal meet ups. they came my hs n watched this very disgusting movie called the descent. haha, luckily they didnt find it boring i think. then we went to pw to eat. i bought alot of food, haha. a american sasuage, crab meat jap salad, one burger king meal and sundae pie. gosh. damn full. like always, i enjoyed slacking arnd. talking trash and stuff. argh. n tht ass weewee ignored all my byes just now. damn. argh. till next time.

that day, i went comics con and bought a ps3 protector which cost me 18.90. but after i read the intructions behind, i found out that its actually a piece of shit, as in, they seperated the protector into to sheets, on covering the top part of the ps3 and the other the bottom, leaving the ps3 logo uncovered. omg, so theres a gap in between, what kindaof protector is tht? so i tot, im never gonna use this shit, and i rushed back to the store just after 30mins i bought it n demanded for an exchange, i know, its my fault not to have checked the product throughly but im not just gonna waste $19 on nothing. it could have been a peaceful exchanging process but unfortunately, they're from china. yes, all of them. they were just so not please with me when i ask for the exchange. for tht very moment, im about to reach the state of discrimination. especially when they start talking to me in eng. i could have just walk away but this time i didnt. lol. i just stayed there like a unreasonable customer for the first time of my life. but they were just so stubborn. its only until when i said, ''even for a ps3 game''. fk, money faces. in the end, i wasted not 18.90, but 99. well, at least, its something tht ill be hanging on for months. geee. im like some auntie complaining here. nvm nvm.since im getting my pay soon. ARGH. u have to start saving some money jwn!!!! seriously. alright. i better go play my 99 game, feel so not right to even leave it untouched for 5mins. $$$$$$$$$

its only after donkey's msg on the board tht i realised tht i havent updated any entry regarding juleen's bday. alrighty. so here it is, althought its pretty late. im just gonna make this a short one. since everyone's blog have abt the same entry. LOL. met up with xiong and jul at vivo first. its just wierd being early. the rest came alil bit later after they got the present for blacky. haha, hamster, thts right, two of them. geee. its so stupid typing all these out when u can read it from hui's and jess's blog 'to know more, click on their blog'.LOL. see i so good, promote ur blogs leh. ok, ill just say tht it was a casual meet up, it might be bored to the others but i really enjoyed slacking arnd. its part of my life =..=''.. most significantly, it is the time being with ur friends, so whether if its just a dinner, or even doing nothing like just talking randomly to each other, its still something we shld treasure. i dont wanna end up everyone having second thoughts of whether we shld meet up or what. OK? lol. geee. i sound too serious here already. aiya , actually i have nth to type abt also. so most of these are crap. WAHHAHAHA. thankew for reading this meaningful but crappy entry. till next time =)

omg, jwn u have to control urself, u're spending money like flowing water. haha. yesterday, me and the animals including bao and xw anyway, haha, went to orchard. i have to go fareast first so i can alter my jeans. damn, ill have to go there all by myself later to collect it. so damn sian la. sigh. anyway, after we all finally gathered tgt. we ate at swensens. geee. alot of money but it was quite worth it. then we walk back to cineleisure to take some retarded $10!!!! neoprint. omg. haha. waste of money. cause the photos aint tht nice and the pictures were super small. but nvm la. we seldom take neoprints. by then, it was already 10pm, almost all the shops were closed so jess suggested a place where we can rest and talk, which was also where jordon brought jess to for the first time they met. haha. tht place is kinda special in some way. theres lights shining up the reflective ceiling like lil stars. its a great place to chill out but just a lil hot there. so after talking..n ofcourse gossiping, we finally left tht place at abt 1130 i think. haha. alrighty, i actually enjoyed the evening with them. nothing like gg out with the animals. too bad one's missing, haha. hopefully we can meet as a grp soon. alright. i think thts abt it. sayonaraaaaaaaaaaaa. till next time.

alrighty, another fast update. last thursday, i went out weeeweee. i know, its already sat. but its just wierd not talking abt it. i mean its been so long since we've gone out tgt. so.. we went to vivo. n i know we have to catch a movie. ok... i want to. haha. too bad theres so lil movie we can choose from, so in the end we watched zodiac. ahaha. its suppose to be boring la. somehow we got thru by laughing at stupid scence. we tot tht the movie's never gonna end actually, it seems to take forever to end. LOL. 3hrs. gosh. haha. we shop alil too, because of the bloody zodiac, time was not enuff for us to do anything else at vivo already. SO! we ended up at my house, showed my ps3 to weewee, and gave my ps2 to her. haha. how ironic. yea. thts abt it. actually i just dont want weewee to be bored throughout the whole thing la, i know i can be very boring when it comes to one on one outing. but she said in her blog tht - it was not abit boring - im glad she wrote tht in her blog. so i wont have to worry abt ASKING her out if again if nobody can make it like this time.. HAHAHA. just jk la. lol. alright, next time i better see u ppl. donkey- blacky.

haha. i know. this is, for the first time, the fastest update ever. well, i have no intention to make an entry this fast until i've seen this movie i downloaded on net. i have this urge to tell so many ppl abt it unfortunately nobody's online right now so here i am. hahah. OK. im sure u have heard of this movie called hostel. if not. u shld go check it out on net. its not showing in sg though. ull have to download it. ive seen hostel, the first one, n it left me a very deep impression. not because of its gore, bloodshed and inhuman torture only but also the captivating story. ive just finished watching the second one, oh my .. god.. its definately more gross....alot. really. luckily for me, the image quality isint tht good, and even for tht, i was still put into shock. imagine watching it in dvd or high def quality. i think ill be vomiting like weewee already. WAHAHAHA. well, the first one has more torture scence compared to the second one, but the content.. for the second sure is alot more disgusting. the reason, haha, simply has to be the change of sex for victims. first one was guys, now, girls ofcourse. its just sick la. anyway, the story actually links from the first to the second. the director wont be doing a trilogy though. what a shame. alright, i wont go into details as this blogs rated m18. WAAHAHHAH. lame. n i wont want to be a spoiler. if u want to watch it, its available on some of the BT sites, or u can borrow the cd tht ive burned from me, either way, dont miss this movie. heart failure ppl or little girls not encouraged.

omg, its been so long since i've made an entry and i really feel bad for abandoning you my poor lil blog. so.. let me see. actually nth much occured when im away. you know, i just got the ps3, what else would i be doing. right. oh ya. actually, there was suppose to be a camp. fk, n because of tht, i have to take offs from work. n guess what? they changed the camp to another day. WTF. too bad, im nt gg already, even if i want to, i simply cant. ive already made a mess in the schedule once so i really dont want my current supervisor to go through all the unnesessary work again. sigh, but one of the camp activity is really tempting. PAINT BALL. ARGH. nvm.. theres another replacement camp for those who cant attend this. but no paint ball anymore. so sad. therefore..... im left at home for four days with nth to do. well, ill be alil optimistic. because of the changes, i can rest and rot with my ps3, n hui will have the chance to get the ps2 from me. talking abt wee wee, shes sick. nono. i mean really sick. haha. hope u'll get better soon monkey. okok. seeee. i have NTH to do... i guess ill go back to my button smashing game again. till next time..

just got my ps3. and its pretty much the same. im happy abt it. yet not really excited. its kinda ironic. cause.. when i first got my psone, i was darn into it. then come ps2, woah. it was all but enjoyment. but for ps3 its just a lil flat. for all of these that made it happened, that ive realised now, isint actually the next gen consoles.. but that somebody, anybody, around, whether if the persons just looking at u or playing with u, it just feels good.. now thts diff.. william actually came back three days ago, the timming was good because i just got my ps3, although its just one pathetic game cause i didnt have enuff money to buy a few more, it was still great. pure enjoyment, and the funny part is, its a single player game. we just took turns, cursing at each other when the car crashed like a million times. sigh. now he's gone, again? haha. but im not really sad either, i mean, im just trying to make a point here. and it also struck me that hui once said that why do i need a console, i could have a better use of that money, maybe im just so bored and had nothing better else to do but to go right home everyday and lock myself up in the room, pressing the controller like some freak for hours... well, shes right~ most of it. i love consoles, but the reason i buy it is simple, i dont have any more activities to keep myself busy. i just have to find one , myself, alone, and try to always be optimistic by keeping myself with things to do. thats my kinda life, still. ps3 can be fun, but it cant talk to me, make me feel better when im sad or laugh at my jokes.. im just upset.. of the limitations of connections i have. in the end, it always hit me right back, like a cycle, the feeling of loneliness..

laughters, screams and cheers filled the air
so glad to be one of them
soon it fades
everyone spread to their close ones
each hooked on to one another
i was left behind
im not alone, how can i be?
we just laughed and cheered
but why?
deep down i hear the cries of pain..

FINALLY i have time to update. it really.. REALLY has been a tiring week for me. frankly speaking i have never ever done so much work in my life before. i stayed up to 2am to do my projects almost everyday. unbelievable man. wow.however, i still tried to have some time set aside for leisure. Met up with monkey and blacky last friday. it was a simple outing. we just had dinner at one of the res at ms. haha. juleen, as usual, made us laugh like hell. what will we do without u hur? sometimes ure even funnier than clowns. geeeee. im mean. WA HA HA. ok. i need to go have my dinner already. shall be back with more ''intresting'' stories of my life. stay tune~

alright, surprising hur? i mean, i just wrote in a entry yesterday n here i am writing another one. usually takes more than 2 days to see another one. okay. lets start of with the class at boat quek. haha. its really embarassing actually, i made the whole class wait 30mins for me. why wait for me? cause im something like a repesentitive for the class n IM LATE. so much for responsibility, geee. i dont even want to be in this position, im simply unlucky. damn, they actually prank call me when im on the way there, someone trying to sound like one angry teacher over the phone, get the idea? yea, i fell for it. good job. lol. and then we walk to boat quek as a grp, met up with mdm tia, the person incharge, great and cheerful lecturer infact, got some tips and started drawing? haha. i seriously hate drawing landscapes la. wah piang. I HATE DRAWING LINES. nvm. after tht, some of us went off and had lunch together. and i ended up in monkeys house, really missed her house alot, haha, if u're reading this, stop giggling. ok, u wont. but at least, u know. she tought me some skills of exploiting the function of photoshop and we had a few of stupid games. i cant stay there for long cause i have a movie to catch with kel and all, SPIDERMAN 3.

ok. maybe i had expected too much, u know? trailers always do tht. ok, cause im a huge fan of spidey, this 3rd installation was really a twist, a bad one. the story has too many characters in it, everything seems to be so jumpy, like the pace of the movie speeds up alil here and there. the logistical sense isint there. well, simply the plot and the script has a huge imperfection, and it could be much better if they'd just follow the origin of the comic books. well, i have no say in this cause im just one of the million audience. the good part is, haha, the visual effects pretty much satisfied what i was looking foward to. the fake jumps to the air, the unpropotional gravity swinging and overly strained glossiness is now erased. good job to the visual team. hhaa. the action , like many of the fight scences were extreamly incredible. but the design of the villians and spiderman still a problem. guess they're just too lazy to redesign the black costume so they decided to just pour it over with black ink. overall rating, 4 out of 5. might be a 3&1/2 if im not into spiderman. i hope for a better script on the 4th one '' if there is'' thts all for today. GTG SLEEP. till next time.

alright. finally another entry from me, it was a extremly busy week for me, yea, first week at sch too. everything seems to be ... fine... alil bit toooo fine. i hope i wont end up calling it bored. after a few days at sch, i found out how tiring this could be. seriously, u have task, research and major projects to stress on, every single day. from '' oh so bored. have nth else to do'' holidays to ''holyshit,all im enjoying pretty much now is sleeping'' sch life. okay. but at least im studying something tht i'd be intrested in..soon.. not now. geee. lectures now have NTH to do with moving image. maybe in some ways but sigh, its gonna be tough for the first yr. i hope i can get thru it somehow. currently , im working on a project called ''design icons/iconic designs'' , ive choosen spiderman and starbucks. haha. wierd hur? but anyhow, we need to do this collage of the icons we've choosen n geee, its darn difficult. putting pictures of different kind into one, messy but artilistic. shit. nvm, im gonna gather all the skills i can find n do the best i can. monkey's gonna teach me some basics of photoshop, so ill have to thank her for this. hopefully, ill get a pass, nooo, get myself at least a satisfying grade.

monkey's blog has this movie rating system gg on. haha. therefore,... u know, following the footsteps of the oh mighty short one. ok,seriously, i have this movie i wanna share and talk abt. its not a new movie cause i'd watched it from a dvd. its actually called '' blood diamond '' i know i know, it must be a stupid action kinda movie, im sure many of u guys seen the poster, so the impression is there, LAME, but in fact, in the opposite way , since ive seen it, ITS ... great. absolutely, WITHOUT any exception , one of the best movie ive seen. its not just a dumb frictional movie, its actually still happening out there,FACT. ppl suffering because of some stupid diamond. dont get it wrong, its nt a documentary like an incovenient truth. ill say , maybe girls will watch it because of leonardo dicprio and guys'd rather see some alien freak show, but this is one of the many important movies we must watch, haha. im like so into it.. but after u watch it, ull know how safe and lucky we are. ok,not gonna go on,just gonna say tht its ''spectacular, exciting and stunningly well made'' -david denby, THE NEW YORKER... so its worth watching. ill give it, 4 & 1/2 stars. =D GEEEE. monkey , seeee, im better at reviewing movies, u shld hire me for ur blog's future in the movie segment. lol.

OK. I SHLD BE SLEEPING. still have to go boat quey tmr ..... to draw? shit. ill see ya again, dear blog.

thanks to hui, heres the new entry. hahahaha. what will this blog become without monkey~
soooooooo. what shld i start with? okok. last thursday.. i think? me, weewee, donkey n blacky went to ecp. we got ourselves something to eat, played at the arcade too, before hitting on the road on bikes. oh ya, tht burgerking area was super quiet, geee. not a single soul there. lol. so we cycled to bedok jetty as usual, stopped there to take some air. haha. this is where the fun part was. wahhaha. we played random games, one of it was so stupid we couldnt help it but laugh non stop. just imagine me trying to act like pikachu. haha. geee. alright. then we continued. nth much happened n we eventually have to turn back at some point so we could return the bikes on time. haha, all i know is jul and jess were always behind me and monkey , waaayyyyyy back, all the time. LOL. oh ya.poor donkey got a cut near her ankle. fortunately ,its nt tht serious. i pretty much enjoyed the day with the animals at ecp. eh? oh,im nt done yet, but its nt tht impt too, they came to my hs after cycling, watched this RIDICULARS movie , it really sux, so half way thru we changed it to another zombie flick. haha. alright. thts all.

next week, my sch finally starts. really excited abt it yet! friends... i need some close ones soon, if nt hw am i gonna survive for the next 3years. haha. n ya, watching spiderman3 , woooooooow, with kelly yong ping ming, use to be a very close friend of mine during the sec sch days. glad we could meet up again. how can we nt watch the 3rd one tgt ? come to think abt it, we actually saw the first two tgt, i think. so this must be like a trilogy. hahaha. n we might just get ps3 tgt. whahahah, all the 3's. okok. YES. i have to go, lotsa dvds to finish. till next time. =D

ARGH.muahhaha. wee wee u ass. ok. lets talk abt the big big event i had with monkey and blacky, well, actually its just a simple but great outing. haha. it was really fun and stupid. lol. we just kept eating non stop. lol. danger!!! HUIHUI!!!! waahahha. er. i just love chatting with them, so lame. now i just gonna repeat what hui's blog already has. FIRST. we met at bugis. then we ate at v8. nice food there ~~~~~ hahhahha. and then juleen came. so we just chat for awhile there and then left n went to b.street. so damn ... crowded. whaahah. in the end hui bought a ''princess'' necklace , LOL. haha, and next to the icon. whahaha. so funny la. one floor less then one minute finish liao. so lame. AND THEN we stop at the strudel cake shop. haha. hui got the strawberry and me the apple one. juleen, just dont wanna eat anything ! wah. power. haha. they we keep making fun of the mona lisa pic behind. =x next stop : MY HOUSE. hahaha. wanted to watch a movie one. BUT juleen. haha. u owe me one. always like tht de. come my hs chat chat go home. but nvm, might be meeting them this thursday again. ahah. anyway, because of this entry, IM ACTUALLY 30 MINS LATE FOR WORK. how touching right weee weeeeeeeeee. till next time. BYEEEEEEE. ZOOOOooooOOOoOOM~

haha. im back. the camp is soooooooooo stupid .. but. fun. super tiring too. they really treat us like we're all superman. haha. 5hrs of sleep leh? piang. okok. im have lotsa to do. so ill jus go right to the point.

DAY ONE
erm. memorised most of the cheers. got to know tht design sch's the coolest. erm. at least the most hyper ones. some friendly ppl, some not so. er... FOOD'S BLOODY CHEAP n it doesnt lose out to the ones outside.

DAY TWO
best of all. they changed the whole sch into a murder scene. its like a game where we have to write the story with all the clues arnd. example, fake dead bodies, fake ghost , notes and many more stupid clues all over the sch. its kinda cool though. got closer to some of them, but rather stick with the girls , er.. dont anyhow think ar, but u know, ive been like this since sec 5, guys there are so, not my kinda friend, like gx or ppl lame enuff to hang out with. but , sigh, tht doesnt mean tht they treat me as a closer friend. ARGH. so sad. anyhow, i manage to get thru the 2nd day. tough.

DAY THREE
we were the best at cheers already. i mean it. among all of the schs. WE ROCK ! YOU PEBBLE! LOL... one of our cheers. aint tht cute. still got lotsa more la. hahahahah. so inevitably.. we won the trophy of the most active sch without fail, straight down for 7 years already. we kept the legendary hyper thing gg on. so proud of ourselves. is like even when they play the music, we were the only sch dancing. okok. i think.. thts abt it.

SUMMARY OF THE WHOLE CAMP
in my group '' THE PACIFER'' lol~
girls are friendly , group leaders are funny n cool.
boys...no comment. not sure. lol. but still upset cause
NO REAL FRIEND YET. FULLL STOP.

n wee wee did something tht made me really proud. she waited 3hrs20mins for.... NOTHING. thts cool,girl~ chill =D

THE END.
comming up on the next ''exciting issue''
'' THE BLACK AND SHINY BIG THING : PS3 '' yaya, u're right weex2, i cant HELP IT.

ok. sorry for the long delay ppl. was , is, very busy. but i wont just abandon my blog because of tht. so.. here i am. fk. thts nerd enough. ill start with er... sr's bday. but before tht i actually went to a pub or clubbing place called double o for the first time, had a couple of shots , thanks to sr ofcourse =..='' i got alil bit shaky but! still kinda conscious. haha. strong eh? but i keep asking them the same Q over n over again so actually i was not really awake afterall. so the next day which was sr's actual bday. we got together at ecp around the evening. haha. to be honest, the whole damn thing is like .. er. a incompleted puzzle , pieces all over the place. but it got better as we play the games. overall, not really tht bad. but i was expecting more from erm ,anyone. well, im just glad we met up again. just tht will do. so.. for today. bad start. bad day. hot sun. HORRIBLE and STUPID cheers. yesh. tp's orientation. IT SUXXXXXXX. i better go. tmr still gt tht stupid camp. boo hooooooo hooooooooooo. someone, anybody, HELP.

oh my god.... whats wrong with tp... no wonder they say '' what u'll get out of tp the most is ''fun'' ''. just came back from work, then mum passes me a tp envelope.. again? havent i sent all the freaking enrolment shit, so opened it. ''freshmen orientation'' oh, that. ha. mum then told me its nt from the mailbox? then!? they actually deliver it personally at ur doorstep. holyshit. whats tht all abt? so i continued reading it.. n oh my, WHAT IS A 4DAY, 2 NIGHT CAMP? isint it suppose to be just an ordinary orientation? flipping through, it just got worse, ''sentosa'' , ''list of things to prepare'', ''fun in the water''..... ARGH !!! its killing me. ok, it may sound fun to some of ya, but its nt to me. remember? i F@#*&@$^ hate sentosa. its hot, and fun in the water? whats tht? must be tht bitchy beach. i hate it. last time i went there... ohhh god, its just terrible... so much for the things ive plan for next week. WHO EVER CAME UP WITH THE IDEA... it better be fun or at least... not! stupid! . shit. im lucky i havent got myself a ps3 yet. imagine me having tht monster machine in my room for 3 days without touching it. no ~~~~~~~~~~~ way! phuuuu...... cool down. u might.. just meet some cool ppl, or haha. okok, shall nt go into detail. cant believe im already gg to be in a polytechnic already. n 'my can say so closest but not so much already' human/animal friend monkey,LOL, no hard feelings, had broken the spell and made it thru with his bf for a year. way to go. keep the engine rumbling. see, all the good things happening , orientation nt included* , is this the end of the devil's work? STAY TUNE ON ''JIEWEN'S SCREWED UP LIFE''

geee. ive been so busy nowadays that ive already forgotten i had a blog. well, its gonna be lyk this for another month i guess. wait till i get my hands on tht shiny black oh... PS3... holyshit. i cant wait to have one in my room with ma tv. and ofcourse a new begining at tp. well, i got this really bad feeling though, what i care the most is the ppl in my class. pls pls pls, god, make this 3 years intresting for me. ps3's gonna help me with some but gee u cant expect me to stay in the room for long. if nt ill go retard. n yesh, ive planned what i shld do in this 3 important years. why important. 1. its before i go to hell(ns) 2. it somehow decides what im gonna do next time. 3. MAYBE a relationship... well, i didnt really put much hope in tht. ARGH! ok. fine. a relationship is what ive always been looking forward to. haha. desperate. no. lonely. yes. maybe both. fuck it. oops. less 'f's jwn. dont scare the girls off. whaahahha. doesnt make any diff. n ya, i hope monkey's feeling better already, i kinda know how she feels now. CHEER UP. dont give up, u're blessed, i dont know.. god's always at ur side. haha. always has been. so dont worry.ok. thts all for the day.
-wishes will come true. just wait for the genie.

sigh. first all the good things. now the bad. if theres really a god, he sure is punishing me now. it has only been a few days since i sign on a thousand plus hdtv. ofcourse i wont just buy it for fun because i already got one at home. ps3 needs a hdmi output which only hdtvs were capable of. so thats the reason. although i did save a partial part of my money for backup. ive just realised that i shld at least wait until my sch starts. now tht my mum has some bad news after the meeting at her workplace, i really feel bad abt spending the money. i really dont know. its nt like i regretted buying that tv cause its what i really want in my own room, just tht whats happening now made me know tht i shld always wait until im really ready to get what i want. so what i can do now, is to delay the date of getting the ps3. i know.. i shld kill the idea of getting it already, but tht freaking tv tht cost so much will then be useless. guess ill have to work at the same time when im studying to save up more money. phuuuuuuuuu. alright. hope my mum will find a solution to her problem soon.

I WILL BE AN ANIMATOR. wahahaha. moving image at tp. what ive always dream of since young,is to make my own picture move =..='' LOL! tsk tsk tsk. yet , im still worried abt my future with my ability ill soon gain. nvm . ill work hard. n create my own ANIMATION..... okok. i think too much liao.

All thanks to monkey actually. what shld i say? shes the one who told me abt the jae result, the one who check for me on net, the one who saw it first and the one to congratulate me first. hha. thanks bud. well well, i really hope this is what ive always wanted. wow. animation.. really cool thing to learn. haha. okok. think thats abt it. just want to thanks this wei da de wee wee once again. happy ? lol. till nxt time then.

ive just finished watching the dvd i borrowed home yesterday. its a chinese movie called happy birthday. it is really touching. my initial thought of the movie was.. boring. but , yea , iwas wrong, it's a great movie. in some way, it affected me alil. in a wierd way i guess. i dont know how to explain but its like the movie actually made me wanna think of some past relationship which ended up tragically.. but .. I DONT HAVE ANY. except, some one sided love kinda thinggy. well, use to have this habit of looking at some of my junk i kept only to myself in my personal drawer, its been so long since ive opened it, so i just wanna check if insects have move in to it. haha. we sure changed alot by looking at the old photos. sad thing is... those junks related to some ppl or some part of my memory ... just reminds me the useless, stupid jwn i use to be n... how hurt i was. yet i still treasure'em along with some sadness and alil of happiness i use to have. god, this is so fucking gay. sigh. i better nt take a look back anymore, it kills me. have to get some brainwash. im out.

wooaa ow. cny ended so fast, i mean day 1-2. ha, cause .. to me cny's actually this short. although it holds up to 15days. i guess, everyone feels the same too. i really miss the days of how i spend my cny. without fail, ill always visit he pan, ''near that durian''. yea.. but things change, u know. he pan.. to me is no longer as important already. or maybe its nt as fun either. especially when theres nothing to ride on or be with one to enjoy. one by one, all gone. friends n exciting rides for example. well, its ok.

day 1
nothing particular to mention actually. wahhahah. just the normal procedures everyone.. , i mean the chinese, would do. so we'll just skip this. lol

day 2
ok, we visted my mum's eldest sister '' last stop ''. n everyone was there. no, its something bad. damn awkward. geee. everyone had their little group. u know? the aunties, then the uncles , then the big sisters.lets forget abt the big brothers, geee. they look like some kinda robot or something, just sit there and day dream. therefore this leads to the conclusion.. of me joining them, pathetic, BUT at least i fidget a little here and there. they dont even move, not a single muscle!argh, maybe they study too much. infact, i think my task every year on cny , simple, just to collect hong bo's. haha. i dont mind anyway. so after that me n mum went orchard to catch protege. super duper awkward too. its like im the only guy with mother there. lol. but who gives a damn.anyway it ended up well since my mum was so much less naggy and the movie, i'll give it 3 stars. oh yea. i missed out one important part. guess who i saw today? one guy , one girl. guy, victor, girl, joyce. wow. haha. they're the one who spotted me first. one reason i like abt cny, everyone seems to be so nice. god. ok, thats abit it.

n.. tmr ill be back to that same old place again. boring~ right,n i really really wanna watch the epic movie, gee. i think its gonna be hilarious.... and stupid. i love stupid movies. haha. but theres no way im watching it alone. so who shall be my victim.muahahahah . lame.argh but i guess i wont find anyone to watch it with me. since, i have insufficient friends.FACT. NVM. i can always buy the dvd. =..='' ok. 5 mins more to bed. have to clean my mouth. so..next time.

i got my results already. its ... far from what i expected it to be. well, i must say that there may be a guardian angel , a lazy one, who finally did her job. thank you. but.. i dont know why, something else i really want, still... sigh, maybe its because that particular day is arriving that made me feel this way. boy, that day... is gg to be a tough one.. what really made me upset or rather disappointed was actually because... it was suppose to be a turn around for me but it ended up to be nothing... at all. i dont blame u but myself, for thinking too much.

you shld have just said no..... and walk away.
leaving me behind like u were never there.
no..
i shldnt have even ask.
im dumb , im crap.
miracle's just a word
for losers like me.

my dearest blog.. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY LIFE. its a brand new year, but nth seems to be moving to the right track. oh c'mon. havent u torture me enuffff, oh mighty gooddd? its gonna be like this again for the year. n I'LL DIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im just kidding... I'LL SUFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! most likely to the state of craziness. arghhhhhhhhh. help me , somebody ~~~~~ im just overly exaggerating here. i dont even know if that sounds right. fuck. who cares. no fucking soul is gonna mark this piece of shit anyway. OKAY. life goes on.

its still the same, work work work . it kills..alil. the good thing is, i get to see movies for free... .....
... FUCK, didnt i noted that on my previous entries. skip that. ok... yesh~ my results are comming. and my sixth sense tells me that IM GG TO FUCKING PASSSSSSS. it better. and then ill go to any polytechnic and start a BRAND NEW LIFE THERE. wow. im seeing it already. IN MY SQUISHY SLIMY BRAIN , ofcourse. its still an image i want to be in. fuck fuck fuck fuck. geee. oh gosh , just look at how many FUCKs i have used on this entry, today must be a FUCKED UP DAY. no its nt that bad actually. ARGH. mad man typing. me. and he's gonna sleep soon. THIS IS SO FUCKING LAME. WORST BLOG ON THE NET. GO AWAY. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

my dearest blog. ive just found out that your are the only thing i can come to when ever i... feel like im the only soul living on this pathetic planet. im losing to it. i have admit that im trying , always trying, very hard to look on the bright side but its just not working anymore. all the fake laughs and smile, im tired of pretending. isit that im always like this when im at home, i think too much? i dont think so. people working with always have ppl arnd, either when its on their off or after work. they got so many friends, and one thats younger then me have a life that ive wanted it in mine. a human mind complicates things, one moment im writing an entry that im actually over it , the next thing i know it, im into that f'ked up situation again. always like this for me. i feel like a loser whenever ppl at work talk abt their past relationships, present ones, whatever, haha, n what? i have had only one rl, and maybe that doesnt even fucking count. geee. i know, everyone's equal in same way. but maybe god left me out. fuck. i feel terrible. mums right. why am i watching dvds everyday, have i got nth else i to do. like go out? have fun? stop staying at home looking at every electronic screens there is in the house? i wish i could. i wish ... too much. maybe thats why i dont get a single shit i wished for, at all. alright, at least 2/4 of what i kept in me has been released if not ill end up in mental hosp real soon.. thanks to u my only .. whatever, blog.

fk new year's eve. welcome.. whatevers comming. alright, i sure feel alot better now. haha. alright. that previous entry i typed was seriously crappy. i hate being sad i hate being that 'oh, poor guy'. fk that. so what if ny's eve was shit. maybe.. just maybe..sigh, something good's gonna happen to me since ive got hit by all kinds of shit already. hai, i just want to be alil bit happier. its always bad thinking of the worse when you're already an unhappy person. woah. i feel like a matured grown man now. wahahah. lame. at least im nt that pessimistic already.